“Could not let go”: the war separated a young Ukrainian family

BRASOV, Romania (AP) — University student Vlada Yushchenko was still a teenager and almost three months pregnant when she hugged her husband at the border, turned away and walked to Moldova.

Now she is in Romania, one of the millions of Ukrainians forced to flee the Russian invasion. Her child Daniil was born there eight months ago and still hasn’t met his father, Yaroslav, who is 21 and, like most men of military age, forbidden to leave Ukraine.

Forced separation of a young family is an all-too-common story among the roughly 110,000 Ukrainian refugees in Romania, almost all of whom are women and children.

“No one expected that a war would come and that we would not be together,” said Yushchenko, who has now settled in the central Romanian city of Brasov, where she gave birth and lives in a two-room apartment with her mother, Daniel. , and her terminally ill grandmother.

“We couldn’t let each other go for a long time,” Yushchenko, 19, said, recalling the couple’s breakup at the border. “We really didn’t want to do this, but at the same time we understood that we had to do this for the sake of our health and the health of the child and for safety.”

As the war drags on into its second year, the lack of physical contact between the child and his father, a computer programming student in Kyiv, is annoying. However, their smartphones allow the family to feel connected.

“Sometimes we burst into tears, (but) we are very happy when we see each other on video,” Yushchenko said. “I called (Yaroslav) and sent the photo as soon as I could, on Daniil’s birthday,” she added. “It was very emotional, he was very happy, it was unforgettable.”

But even this virtual link does not always exist.

In recent months, Russian strikes have targeted critical energy infrastructure across large swaths of Ukraine, making communications difficult at times. According to Yushchenko, Yaroslav is trying to allay her fears by warning her of possible power outages and telling her not to panic in moments of silence.

The story goes on

However, watching footage of the war in Ukraine and knowing her husband is there only adds to her unease.

“It’s very hard to watch the news and see all the suffering, the missile strikes, the deaths,” said Yushchenko, who continues to study mathematics and physics remotely at the Kiev Polytechnic Institute between caring for a child. “I pray every day that everything will be fine … in the city where (Yaroslav) lives, and in general.”

Her faith, among other things, helps her get through this ordeal.

When Daniil was six months old, she decided to have him baptized at a local Orthodox church by a priest who lives in their apartment building and waived the usual fee for the ceremony. According to Yushchenko, they attend Sunday services when they can.

In her daily life, she often takes “very long walks, sometimes a whole day” with Daniel through Brasov, a picturesque historic city nestled among the arched Carpathians. talk about children and motherhood.

Since the start of the war, more than eight million Ukrainians have fled to other European countries, the largest exodus of refugees on the continent since World War II.

More than 4,000 people registered at the Brasov Migrant Integration Center, according to Astrid Hamberger, the founder of an NGO that helped many of them, including the Yushchenko family, find housing, medical and social assistance.

“I feel safe here… we are getting a lot of help, for which I am very grateful,” said Yushchenko, who hopes Ukraine will win the war so they can return home and finally be together as a family, and Daniel can meet his father.

“It will be an unforgettable meeting, our child is our happiness,” she said.

When asked what she prays for in a church in Brasov, Yushchenko does not hesitate to answer.

“I pray for the health of my family and friends and for a peaceful sky in our country,” she said, “and I ask for the strength to endure all this.”

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